DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been collectively for nearly 10 years. He’s my dreamboat, every little thing I ever needed in a person. Though he doesn’t have a historical past of dishonest, he’s flirtatious.
My husband fixes computer systems. Final 12 months, when my finest buddy’s pc wouldn’t activate, he was completely happy to assist.
I simply discovered a unadorned image of her on his pc.
Once I confronted him, he confessed he stole it whereas he was fixing her pc. Once I advised my buddy, she sort of blew it off (“Males do silly stuff …”).
I don’t know if I can belief him once more and I really feel crushed down. I’ve been damage a number of occasions earlier than in prior relationships. Abby, what do I do?
SHOCKED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SHOCKED: Your finest buddy’s response was uncommon. Most girls can be mortified over this state of affairs. Your husband’s conduct was shameful. He ought to delete the photograph he stole and apologize to you and your buddy for the “silly stuff” he did.
And, as a result of this has broken your capability to belief your husband, insist on some classes with a wedding and household therapist to see if the harm to your relationship with him might be repaired.
DEAR ABBY: I assumed my son and I have been shut. Lately, I realized that his girlfriend had a miscarriage. I realized about it from an electronic mail his girlfriend despatched me, and I’ve additionally realized he advised one other relative he’s near in regards to the miscarriage. I referred to as his girlfriend after receiving her electronic mail and expressed my sympathy, inquired about her well being and advised
her that I might maintain her and my son in my prayers.
My emotions are damage as a result of I didn’t hear in regards to the being pregnant/miscarriage from my son, and he disclosed it to a different relative as a substitute. I assumed we may talk about something — regardless that we disagree on some issues. I wish to ask why he didn’t inform me and let him know my emotions are damage as a result of kids are household treasures. Ought to I specific how I really feel and ask why he felt he couldn’t share with me?
OVERLOOKED IN FLORIDA
DEAR OVERLOOKED: Resist the urge to personalize this the way in which you may have. In case you are sensible, you’ll suppose lengthy and laborious — just a few months, maybe — earlier than asking your son that query as a result of if there’s a drawback in your relationship, it will solely make it worse. Take this chance to work on the issues that aren’t proper in your relationship together with your son. He could have had different issues in addition to his mom on his thoughts when this occurred, and should not have needed or wanted to be reminded that kids are “household treasures.”
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has a disgusting behavior: Each time I’m beginning to prepare dinner one thing with hamburger, she takes some to eat uncooked. I’ve tried explaining how harmful it’s, however she received’t take heed to cause. She says she’s been doing it since she was a child (she’s 80 now).
I’ve tried mentioning that the meat provide will not be the identical because it was then, however her response is “it hasn’t damage me but!” Please advise.
CAREFUL COOK IN CAROLINA
DEAR COOK: I’ll attempt. Go to the U.S. Meals and Drug Administration web site (fda.gov) and search “consuming uncooked floor beef.” If you do, you’ll find printable details about the hazards of E. coli, which is most prevalent in uncooked hamburger and particularly harmful to younger kids and folks over the age of 65. Then give the printout to your mother-in-law and pray she’s able to altering her methods.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.